tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
