Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
