Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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