She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
handjob tips. give me some.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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