what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
