Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
