Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize