Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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