Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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