please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
