you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
