I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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