Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize