you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
