so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
