So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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