We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
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I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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