Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
