Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You are the jesus of drinking
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
