she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
