She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
