No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
