Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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