were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
