I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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