I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
