apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Michael Bay diarrhea
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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