I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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