I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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