I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
