He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
