me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
