You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize