We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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