How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
