"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
