Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
