So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
