It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
