Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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