if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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