Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
