Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
