but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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