found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
