hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
