Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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