The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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