My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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