Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
