My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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