i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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