Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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