That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
