So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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