Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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