bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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