dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
