i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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