I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm always down for nudity.
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