Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
