Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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